My Vows

The first night I met you, I was terrified and suddenly I knew, 

Safety and peace I found that moment with you, 

Holding me tight every night is what made me fall,

However, I knew you wasn’t mine but you continued to call. 

Knowing you continued to return despite your pain and all, 

Climbing the mountain, I lost my balance fans began to fall.

Choosingto stay and love me each night despite the pain.

Nothing for you to care about or want to gain. 

The past trauma was beginning to peel back every night,

Every reason to say goodbye because of my terrors and fright. 

Loving me in such a gentle yet respectful sweet way,

Until your past affects your mind and I can’t have a say. 

Listen to heart cause you know me as I am with you, 

Stop accusing me of stuff cause you know it is not true. 

I feel beautiful because of the way you say I am every day. 

You are my life, your my soul and I say this with truth today. 

Each night that you hold me all night long.

Even though you were rebuilding yourself after losing your trust and all,

Yet, you took me as your Queen and tore down my walls.

Honestly, I was terrified to love you or myself after my past mistake,

However, each night, you were the risk I wanted so much to take.

My fascination with the way you make me feel each night, 

Actually allowed me to feel that trusting you is completely and everyday right.

These walls are now gone because you made safe as my King,

Today, I know I will one-day wear a beautiful weddingring.6AsI will never cheat or lie.

Trusting you is hard, but you proven you will answer my call,

Don't let me go my love as I have taken a scary fall. 

I really never knew what love was, yet I lam happy at what I feel, 

Therefore, my personal vows will always be real.

Today, my body, my heart, my trust, and all I will share,

Belongs to only my King because of how much he cares.

I'm entangled with in every way due to to way I feel safe with you,

Also, I vow to lovingly take care of you in every way you need me too.

I can promise to always give you the same respect you give me,

Thank you for helping me find a way to set myself free.

My life is completely happy because of the night we met,

Don't let go of me, while I enjoy all your nightly attention that I get.

By, Crystal S. Amon

Copyrighted 2022

 

Changes Happen

 Changes happen to us sometimes overnight,

Some are of the dark, while others are of the light. 

Give yourself credit because you’re still standing,

You made it to a place that’s safe for landing. 

Never give up… at least that’s what they say,

Don’t forget you have a reason to stay,

Find the place where you belong, 

Don’t let your problems stick around too long.

Remember to hold your head up high, 

Smile big as you continue to walk on by.

Stand up tall and face your fears,

Wipe away the constant stream of tears.

Focus on you goals and dreams, 

Nothing is ever as it may seem.

You may fail but just do it anyway.

Let those around you know you're here to stay.

By, Crystal S. Amon

Copyrighted 2022

Momma

 

Momma, goodbye is so hard for me to even say. 

Help me figure how to write this in a way. 

I want others to see how you lost basically all 

It was too hard for you to bear knowing they won’t call.

Every day you prayed for someone to drop by,

Instead, they never saw that they were making you cry.

Will I ever forget the way you were forgotten through the years?

I moved heaven and earth to keep you out of tears. 

Did you know how much I enjoyed being there?

Were you able to feel how I cared?

I will miss you mom every day, 

I hope you were able to find your way, 

To Heaven and I will meet you again,

Along with Thomas and my other kin.

By, Crystal S. Amon

Copyrighted 2022

Can’t Do Nothing Right!

It appears that you have indeed forgotten me,

The person who is never going to be on your team. 

Yet, your judgements cause me to ask myself why?

Whenever your cruel words begin to hurl and fly.

Brokenhearted by the crap you choose to believe,

So, as a result, I cannot control my anxiety until I leave. 

Your lack of respect screams loudly once again,

Why do you punish me for your own thoughts and foolish sin?

Loyalty is not a word that you will ever allow my heart to feel, 

Instead, I’m lonely with you and are tired of this one-sided deal.

My pleasure and emotional needs are not in your future plan,

Tired of feeling like you will never be a happy man.

I watch you sleep and I remain lonely on your couch,

However, instantly you show me that you are a grouch.

I can’t cuddle or even sit beside you in bed,

Because, you want your privacy and right to sleep instead.

Your constant silence speaks volumes tonight, 

It’s been over a week and you haven’t even asked, “If I am alright.”

I am sick of waiting for you to give a damn,

So, do what you want because you are a grown man. 

Don’t tell me anymore lies just because you are sad,

Dealing with your negative and mean ass makes me mad. 

You disrespect me each and every fucking time,

You lie to me and say you want me but you need time. 

Don’t mess with woman’s mind and ask her to forgive you,

Especially when you believe the world revolves around you.

You want to live in such a negative dismay,

Lose my number and just stay the heck away.

You cheated on me and always lied about your shit,

Don’t you know, I chose not to give up or quit.

I need someone who is proud to be by my side everyday,

As well as be with a man who respects me in every way. 

By, Crystal S. Amon

Copyrighted 2022

The Eternal Night

 That old and familiar uneasy feeling,

Has returned as I am constantly kneeling.

Begging you just to touch me again,

Am I your beloved queen or your friend?

Do you feel my heart tonight?

Why won’t you give up the fight?

Will you always be this hardcore?

Listen babe, I want so much more. 

Needing to know your are there,

Whenever I need you just to care.

I am yours; this I hope you can see,

Are you truly embarrassed of me?

All I see is you always holding back, 

I beg for just a little time and slack.

Crushed each day that you ignore,

Whatever I say to you anymore. 

Your busy... but not like you say,

You could always make a way.

If I mattered as much as everything, 

You say I do; but your silence stings.

I need your attention while being caressed,

Choosing not to accept anything but the best.

Not allowing my heart to be hurt by you. 

Because you won’t share your heart too.

Open up and let me completely in your soul,

Let’s find happiness instead of the same old. 

I am fragile and I need more attention now,

You need love too, but I not sure how.

I am emotional at times and I must know,

What the hell do you feel and I need it to show?

Let me always see that your love is real,

Say it, show it, and pull me close till you feel.

The magic that I feel whenever we collide,

I feel you breathe, as your soul stirs inside.

Grab my hand and show me to the light,

For I am stuck, inside the eternal night.

Please love don’t take this rhyme all wrong,

In my heart, it is a repetitive dance and song.

These thoughts are screaming inside my head,

I cannot live with one more eternal night that I dread.

By, Crystal S. Amon

Copyrighted 2022

For My Twin Brother

 

Your my who twin brother who died alone as the state didn’t call,

He never got to hug me and I can’t understand this at all.

Now, a piece of me is broken as the days pass by.

Everyday I find myself begging for answers as to why?

This I swear to you “Eyes LIke Me” I won’t stop till I know,

Exactly what happened and why your cancer was left to grow.

We were created together as twins which made us friends for life,

Your not a bad guy but addiction took over and gave you strife.

You were my sunshine as the storm raged and I became ill,

My best friend who watched me stumble and fall but loved me still.

Every letter and video made smile as the tears always fell, 

I knew you were fighting to leave a place that I call hell.

Fly high Bubba for you are no longer in pain or chains anymore,

You took the fall for people who will face karma as you soar.

Valhalla is calling, for you were a noble warrior who rose above,

Rest easy bro, for you I will forever love.

By, Crystal S. Amon

Copyrighted 2022

Goodbye Yesterday

 

I’m not scared of you anymore today,

Instead I’m proud of my yesterdays. 

Made it through your mental pain,

The guilt still covers my name.

Staying loyal cost me my sound mind, 

You were so damn hateful and unkind.

Words of anger filled your lying mouth, 

While left me and ran from the south.

One more time you left me alone, 

Now, I’m just collecting my stones.

Building my future one step at a time.

Saying you didn’t kill me with this rhyme.

You walked away quickly as all would see, 

Wasn’t good enough to be kind to me. 

You said we’d be together till the end of days, 

Never again will I ever beg you to stay. 

Holding my head high, I still struggle to fully understand,

All the shit you made me constantly withstand. 

One day someone will make you finally see,

The truth of what you did every moment to me. 

Copyright 2021 

By, Crystal S Amon

Accepting the Truth

 

Constant mental bullshit and anger is not fair, 

I am drowning from lack of respect and care. 

“I am the problem” when you decide to call, 

Don’t bother asking me to talk to a raging wall. 

I stay away from two-faced kin who walk away,

It’s not my place to kiss your ass to make you stay.

My life ain’t perfect but it is not a complete mess,

Because I set goals and made made my own progress. 

I am tired of the venom and guilt in your head, 

Deal with your own issues or consider me dead.

The only time I matter is when I can give you more, 

This time I draw a line and reach for more. 

If I am so selfish and all of you can kick some rocks, 

I do not plan on giving a shit about an empty clock. 

Nothing matters unless it is beneficial to you,

Where were anyone of you as I said goodbye to two?

Judge me and sing your song of despair,

Truth is...I don’t give a shit nor do I care.

You tell me all the ways I am wrong every time I say no, 

Well, that fine I don’t need a Walkaway Joe.

I know my life has not been perfect but I didn’t run to you,

I got up off my ass and saw my goals and dreams come true. 

Not one of you gave a damn about anything but you, 

Look me in the eye and tell me all I say isn’t true. 

I don’t see any of you doing a damn thing right, 

Yet, I don’t judge but I won’t stick around to fight. 

What did you do far me that I owe you so much, 

Nothing...you only want me when you need a crutch. 

So, this problem is walking away with my head up high,

Anger does change a person's heart so I just sigh. 

Love doesn’t exist for me will people who can’t be true, 

Enjoy each other because you each have no clue. 

Love is more than a word you type on a good day,

I rather be alone than mentally abused and betrayed.

Crystal S. Amon 

 

A Beautiful Love

 

Loving you is different and special for me,

So much has begun changing you see.

Holding me throughout my terrors at night,

My eyes now see a beautiful sight.

Knowing this love will never fade or walk away, 

My heart flutters knowing I can trust you in every way.

Taking me to places I have never even dreamed, 

Because a lover was never even what it seemed. 

Brightening my dark and lonely world with  truth, 

Understanding the pain of all that was in my youth. 

Gave me a life that I never believed could be true,

Just because, I met and fell in love with the man I call you!

You walked into my life and sensed my pain,

Nothing in my world will ever be the same.

You lit up my heart with a smile and a kiss, 

When your gone, its your love that I miss.

Finally I can hold my head up high,

Never will I let our love begin to die. 

You made me feel special once more,

Just by rocking me to my core.